| | 1. 911 Call: "Help I've Overdosed on Philosophy!" (1:25) | $0.08 | |
| | 2. Self Help Specialist Ends Own Life (1:55) | $0.15 | |
| | 3. I Am a Trans-Continental Railroad, Please Run a Train on Me (1:11) | $0.08 | |
| | 4. Stop Calling Us Screamo (1:17) | $0.08 | |
| | 5. You Don't Understand the Liquor Is Calling the Shots Now Randy BoBandy (1:05) | $0.08 | |
| | 6. You Can't Get Goose Justice in Fox Court, Just Spit on the Judge (1:32) | $0.08 | |
| | 7. Atrocities From a Story Book Perspective (1:26) | $0.08 | |
| | 8. An Introduction for People Who Hate Introductions (1:02) | $0.08 | |
| | 9. Jimmy Buffett Doesn't Even Surf (1:09) | $0.08 | |
| | 10. Soap Opera Stardom Is a Single Is a Single Tear Drop Away (1:22) | $0.08 | |
| | 11. Pep Talk From a Nihilist (1:28) | $0.08 | |
| | 12. Fashion Statements of the Socially Aware (1:40) | $0.15 | |
| | 13. Absolutely Absolute Absolution (1:42) | $0.15 | |
